Thursday, March 17, 2011

Being honest with myself...

So I've been batteling the +4 and -4 lbs...but why? I still have a ways to go to get to goal!
Well, in a nutshell, I have NOT been honest with myself.
Renegade thoughts like, "Oh, you're doing great...this little bit of carb won't hurt" or "it's a special's okay"
Get the picture??
Well, I've been a member of Sparkpeople website for quite a few years. I log food entries, exercise etc. It's a free website with LOTS of excellent resources for a healthier lifestyle.
Well, this morning I open my email and get this blog entry from a fellow member:

Being Honest With Myself

If I told you I found the secret to success and happiness; if I told you that you could wrap up all of your self-help books and sell them at the book and music exchange; if I told you that you never had to track your food or exercise, ever again you wouldn't believe me, would you? You'd be anticipating that now famous line "But wait there's more..." Well, friends I found it, quite by accident, but I found it and it's as plain as the nose on my face. It's called honesty, more specifically being honest with myself. I can be honest with and about you until the cows come home. I can be supportive and loving and all that cool stuff but until I am honest with myself about who and what I am and how far I need to travel, then it's just a really nice exercise.

BTW: Honesty does not mean beating yourself up. It's why we are afraid to examine it. Some brilliant person many eons ago took the basic principle of physics and applied it to everything in God's creation: "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." We've taken that maxim and engraved it upon our souls altering it to mean "For every fault there should be an equal amount of guilt, pain and frustration and oh BTW I'll never into my dream outfit!!!"

So let me be honest

I abuse food. It's my drug of choice. Everything I have learned in the past fifty seven years tells me what is good for my body and what will ultimately harm it. I choose to ignore those warnings. I'd rather dwell on how difficult it is and give myself a pass. My grocery store has two entrances. The first leads you right into the produce and health food departments. That's where all the good stuff is. The second entrance barely allows you the opportunity to catch your breath when you are accosted by a display of cookies, cakes donuts, pies or candy, depending on the time of week or the season. I know when I walk through door two I am most likely going to grab something that isn't good for me. It may taste good. It may provide some gastric pleasure, but when I step on the scale every Thursday I really shouldn't be too surprised when the needle doesn't move, should I? If I walk through door number one I am more likely to get a more positive result. Door two tastes better but door one gives me a long term result... one I am looking for.

Honesty drives everything about us. Only I know when I'm not telling you the truth but in short order it begins to show. When I am not honest with myself I get results because I can adjust the way I live to help me reach my goals and objectives. When I tell myself "it's okay to cheat," then as my trainer told me once when I wouldn't hold a plank correctly, "The only person you are cheating is yourself, John." Amen.

You don't need to take a billboard out on the interstate and advertise your flaws. Find out what's holding you back and come up with a plan to deal with it. Pat yourself on the back for being brilliant enough to think of it. Honesty has nothing to do with guilt. It has everything to do with seeing how far you've come and realizing how far you have to go. We treat it as a sad occasion but really, isn't it a cause to celebrate? You've found the secret of your success.
Click here to read his blog
I don't know about you, but I REALLY needed to read this. It's no wonder why I am not losing anymore weight! Instead of being strict like I should be, I've been allowing far too many things 'sneak' into my daily life that shouldn't be there. for thought...

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

WOW...what a week...

So my family and I experienced a tragedy last week, my oldest brother died in an accident...he was only 33 years old. We were devastated...needless to say, the last couple of days have sucked as far as my healthy high protein low carb eating goes.
I promised myself that I would find a different 'outlet' for times like this. Sadly, what I've been doing the past 2 days is emotionally eat...nothing ridiculous, but still eating when I'm not hungry.
I still feel numb from the my body and mind have been shot full of xylocaine.
Anyhow, I'm thankful that I am realizing the situation and as of RIGHT NOW I will nip this in the bud! No more white body cannot handle white carbs, potatoes, sweets, bread, rice nor noodles. The past 3 days I've had half of a slice of bread and today a few bites of cake.
My body is really REALLY hating me right now and I want to get off these last 9 lbs!!!
I am still exercising each day, which I'm thankful for...but I'm definitely not losing any weight. do you all handle stress?? What are some ways to deal with stress in your life that are healthy? I'm thinking reading, blogging, drawing, exercising, sleeping....
Sleep is what I've been deprived of the past my plan is to get to bed early tonight so I can feel better for work tomorrow.

Sorry that this post is a bit of a bummer, but I promise the next one will be better and more cheerful.

Until next time..